Is that a light ahead?

Today has been a good day. I was able to enjoy a great Sunday dinner cooked by my mother. I feel a bit stronger and sense a welcome change approaching. I have made it through the worst of my most recent, and hopefully final, chemotherapy treatment. I am confident that my scan Thursday will show the doctor that we are ready to move on from chemotherapy to radiation. Is that something to be excited about? I think so. It should be much more manageable with the most prominent effect being fatigue with a bit of a sunburn. But hey, I've been dealing with tiredness since Christmas (and before - Sophie came along 14 months ago and we know what having a small baby can do). The other welcome change will be going back to work. I have enjoyed being lazy with a perfect excuse to do so but I haven't accomplished much and I think it will help see me through to the end if I can feel like I am once again providing for my family and using my talents.

I look forward to a good week. The things that I can manage are going very well. The things I can't control, the numb soles of my feet and lack of energy, are not so bad that I can't enjoy my last few days of a leisure life. We'll see what my lab test on Tuesday and scan on Thursday reveal. I'll keep you posted.

Last Chemo, Probably

For those of you checking my blog consistently, I apologize that it has been almost 2 weeks since an update. It was a rough time after the last chemo with complications coming to a head last Monday and Tuesday (the 1st and 2nd). I had two women independently tell me that I now have an idea of what childbirth feels like. I told the first one that I was sure that wasn't the case but after the second one I decided there must be something to it. I won't go into more detail other than to say that this time I am starting earlier with copious amounts of Citrucel and Miralax. If that's TMI (too much information) I apologize. I had several good days though and we were able to get out of town to relax a bit at a friends cabin.

As the title suggests I may not be done with chemotherapy as previously thought. The doctor went over a few "unfavorable" characteristics with me yesterday before my last chemo. The three things that might make the difference are the fact that I had chills and night sweats and that my tumor was close to "bulky" at 9 cm. Bulky is technically 10 cm or more. My blood test for inflammation came back very high at 112, well over the 50 they look for. That lab result is what led to that first CT scan way back in March. Seems like a long time ago but at the same time it has gone pretty quickly.

So Thursday the 18th I go for another PET/CT scan, the one that makes me radioactive. The doctor expects it to come back normal but wants to be thorough. I anticipate he'll send me back over to the radiology oncologist for my radiotherapy. It will be nice to know the plan for that particularly when I start and the duration of the treatment. I do plan on starting the semester on the 22nd, just 1.5 weeks away. After a long summer of accomplishing nothing it will be good to get back into the swing of things.

For now, one more chemo under my belt. As usual I was a bit tired when I got home, had a wavering voice last night, and trouble sleeping. Now begins the descent into the drug-delayed, delightful, debilitating bout with nausea. Hopefully by Saturday I'll be on the rebound. I did get the order to take preventative antibiotics with a low white blood cell count. They'll check it on Tuesday to see if it has gone up or if it needs some help. It's good to have Mom and Dad here this time.

Getting Closer

I just have to keep reminding myself that each day is one closer to the end. I had chemo on Monday and I hope I am at the tail end of the worst days. Tuesday night it started to hit and Wednesday and today haven't been fun. I've been really sick to my stomach along with the other fun side effects like tingling feet and a bad taste in my mouth. But I am getting closer and that is helping me stay on the positive side.

It didn't seem to make a difference that one of the drugs was removed from my chemo cocktail. It saved me 30 minutes in the chair but hasn't seemed to make a difference in the severity of the recovery. The extra week between chemo sessions seemed to help me feel a little better at the beginning but made for a harder swing from "normal" to "chemoed." I say "normal" because I don't remember the last time I have felt truly normal. My surgery site has healed well and I am grateful for that. Monday I'll have more labs done to see about shots again. Not much else to report now. Things are fairly repetitive at this point.

Update

I had my labs done yesterday and the doc cleared me for chemo on Monday. My counts were up and I didn't have a shot yesterday. Today is the first day in a week that I won't be at the clinic or hospital so I am going to enjoy my time off. The aches and pains have subsided and now I am just a bit tired from a week of poor sleep.

The doctor went over my lung test with me this week. The key indicator that they look at had dropped 22% which is too much. Usually anything over 15% is enough to stop the B drug. So for my last two rounds I will only have 3 drugs injected instead of 4. It will save me 30 minutes and more damage to my lungs. I don't think it will have too much impact on the after effects though. Getting closer to the end each day.

A Week Off - Sort Of

I went to the clinic today as usual for chemotherapy but the doctor decided that we would put it off for a week. He was okay with this for a few reasons. I am in remission and have had 6 of 8 (75% for those of you who prefer to not think about numbers) of my treatments. Also my white blood cell count was very low today and the doctor does not want to risk an infection. So instead he sent me home after giving me a neupogen shot and telling me to take antibiotics. I go back the next two days for more shots and then Friday they will check my blood again. The plan is to have chemo on Monday provided everything else goes according to plan.

So I kind of have the week off, at least from being sick from chemo. I still have to go to the clinic every day and I can already feel this first shot making my bones ache. And of course I have my surgery to recover from. I didn't think it would be a big deal but my incision has gotten a bit sore today, especially if I am up and about too much. So the plan is to take it easy and get plenty of rest. Same goes for next week too I guess. I feel a bit cheated out of time to feel good. I missed last week and now this week and next week are out as well. That will make a fun four in a row since my last good week. But who am I kidding, I haven't really been normal since this whole thing started. Almost to the end though.

Dr. Harper's "How the Surgeon Stole Chemo Eve"

Despite the clever title, I will not be writing any rhymes. I could also have called it, "Delay is a Pain in the Butt." And this would have been literally true. For those who haven't already heard, I ended up in the ER Sunday morning after pain (in a somewhat embarrassing spot) became incapacitating. The surgeon on call verified the ER doctor's suspicion that I had an abscess. I was taken up to the OR and gratefully put under general anesthesia for the procedure. They admitted me to the hospital and hooked up some IV antibiotics because of my compromised immune system. Most people would have had this done under local anesthesia and gone home the same day. I felt much better after waking up but the night in the hospital was pretty restless. I look forward to my own bed tonight.

I am due for chemotherapy tomorrow but that is up in the air. I will report in the morning as ordered but the doctor may postpone the infusion. The surgeon said that chemotherapy may delay the healing process of my incision site. I prefer to go forward as scheduled and get this over with even if it means a double whammy of recovering from both surgery and chemo this week. I have to thank my superwife again for all she has done and our great neighbors and friends for watching Sophie and helping with meals. We appreciate it SO much. I'll post an update either way tomorrow.

Good Days are Here Again

I am happy to report that I am doing well and expect the rest of the week to be enjoyable. I still have to deal with tingly feet and fingers and a little fatigue but the rest of my lovely chemo companions have mostly departed. I went to the clinic yesterday for lab work and my levels are way up on their own so no bone-aching shots this time either.


I realize that a lot of my posts might have a negative slant so I thought I would remind myself of the good things that are abundant during this trial. My wife has been stellar in taking care of Sophie and me. She has been strong even through physical difficulties of her own. We've had a lot of support from friends and family as well. My daughter has been an angel (okay so she only takes one nap a day and is a very picky eater, often throwing her food on the floor) and I love her so much. She makes me so happy and does the cutest things like peekaboo with palms out and holding her hands behind her back at random times, mostly while walking.


I have learned what pain truly is. I will not go in to detail about the joyful, secondary effect of chemo that caused this pain but I can honestly say that I have never felt pain to that degree in my life up to this point. Of course I've never broken a bone or spent time in a hospital in my life. I hadn't had surgeries until now but this was even more painful than that. Thankfully it has subsided to discomfort but annoying. I have also learned to be more empathetic with my wife and the things that she has had to deal with in her life. As expected I have learned and grown from this trial and continue to do so. Also as expected, we have also been tremendously blessed.