Yesterday was much as expected. I was tired and a bit nauseous but it wasn't too bad. Unfortunately the inevitable build up of chemicals in my system is taking its toll. My fingers and feet are constantly tingling now but the Prilosec and colase seem to be taking care of a lot of the digestive tract issues. I am grateful for that because fatigue has arrived to join loss of taste and appetite. Up until now I've been a bit tired however I've usually been able to brush it off and work through it. Today that changed. It's been a physically tough day with a mixture of emotions on top of that.
Let me start with the good news. We are excited for the arrival of Tara's dad tomorrow. The company will be great and we'll have the privilege of celebrating Sophie's first birthday, Tara's birthday, and Father's day with him. Tara has been busy cleaning and grocery shopping in preparation for his arrival. Dealing with my inability to help with the housework today has been as hard as dealing with my physical hardships. Tara hasn't been feeling well either but she has been diligently taking care of me, Sophie, and the house. She is a wonderful wife and I could not make it through this trial without her. I just feel bad for being so useless today and realizing how tough that is on Tara. I am just so tired.
My tiredness is no longer a function of the sleep I get or don't get. My muscles are just tired and they ache whether I am moving or not. It takes so much energy to climb the stairs or get off the couch. This has made today very difficult for me and I think I'll look back on this as a turning point in my treatment. I am about halfway through chemotherapy and the honeymoon period is now over. Things will be different now, I am afraid, but I will take advantage of the good days when I have them.
My stomach is doing ok, not great, but ok today. I was hungry but afraid to eat lunch. I was fearful that it would make me nauseous again but the medicine seems to be working. I was nervous that it wouldn't taste good but Tara made some stuffing (don't ask me why that sounded good) and it had strong enough flavor for me to enjoy it. I am also grateful for Crystal Light since water doesn't taste good. I can still enjoy drinking lemonade though. I am optimistic that even if I remain tired, my appetite and taste will return. I think I could live with that.
I am confident that we'll be okay through this even though the road is getting harder. The real test and trial is upon us now but I know we can do it. Hopefully my post hasn't been too depressing because it has helped me work through my minor, but tearful, breakdown today.
Here's a shout out to my family at our reunion in Utah. I hope you're having fun for us. We miss you.
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