Getting Closer

I just have to keep reminding myself that each day is one closer to the end. I had chemo on Monday and I hope I am at the tail end of the worst days. Tuesday night it started to hit and Wednesday and today haven't been fun. I've been really sick to my stomach along with the other fun side effects like tingling feet and a bad taste in my mouth. But I am getting closer and that is helping me stay on the positive side.

It didn't seem to make a difference that one of the drugs was removed from my chemo cocktail. It saved me 30 minutes in the chair but hasn't seemed to make a difference in the severity of the recovery. The extra week between chemo sessions seemed to help me feel a little better at the beginning but made for a harder swing from "normal" to "chemoed." I say "normal" because I don't remember the last time I have felt truly normal. My surgery site has healed well and I am grateful for that. Monday I'll have more labs done to see about shots again. Not much else to report now. Things are fairly repetitive at this point.

Update

I had my labs done yesterday and the doc cleared me for chemo on Monday. My counts were up and I didn't have a shot yesterday. Today is the first day in a week that I won't be at the clinic or hospital so I am going to enjoy my time off. The aches and pains have subsided and now I am just a bit tired from a week of poor sleep.

The doctor went over my lung test with me this week. The key indicator that they look at had dropped 22% which is too much. Usually anything over 15% is enough to stop the B drug. So for my last two rounds I will only have 3 drugs injected instead of 4. It will save me 30 minutes and more damage to my lungs. I don't think it will have too much impact on the after effects though. Getting closer to the end each day.

A Week Off - Sort Of

I went to the clinic today as usual for chemotherapy but the doctor decided that we would put it off for a week. He was okay with this for a few reasons. I am in remission and have had 6 of 8 (75% for those of you who prefer to not think about numbers) of my treatments. Also my white blood cell count was very low today and the doctor does not want to risk an infection. So instead he sent me home after giving me a neupogen shot and telling me to take antibiotics. I go back the next two days for more shots and then Friday they will check my blood again. The plan is to have chemo on Monday provided everything else goes according to plan.

So I kind of have the week off, at least from being sick from chemo. I still have to go to the clinic every day and I can already feel this first shot making my bones ache. And of course I have my surgery to recover from. I didn't think it would be a big deal but my incision has gotten a bit sore today, especially if I am up and about too much. So the plan is to take it easy and get plenty of rest. Same goes for next week too I guess. I feel a bit cheated out of time to feel good. I missed last week and now this week and next week are out as well. That will make a fun four in a row since my last good week. But who am I kidding, I haven't really been normal since this whole thing started. Almost to the end though.

Dr. Harper's "How the Surgeon Stole Chemo Eve"

Despite the clever title, I will not be writing any rhymes. I could also have called it, "Delay is a Pain in the Butt." And this would have been literally true. For those who haven't already heard, I ended up in the ER Sunday morning after pain (in a somewhat embarrassing spot) became incapacitating. The surgeon on call verified the ER doctor's suspicion that I had an abscess. I was taken up to the OR and gratefully put under general anesthesia for the procedure. They admitted me to the hospital and hooked up some IV antibiotics because of my compromised immune system. Most people would have had this done under local anesthesia and gone home the same day. I felt much better after waking up but the night in the hospital was pretty restless. I look forward to my own bed tonight.

I am due for chemotherapy tomorrow but that is up in the air. I will report in the morning as ordered but the doctor may postpone the infusion. The surgeon said that chemotherapy may delay the healing process of my incision site. I prefer to go forward as scheduled and get this over with even if it means a double whammy of recovering from both surgery and chemo this week. I have to thank my superwife again for all she has done and our great neighbors and friends for watching Sophie and helping with meals. We appreciate it SO much. I'll post an update either way tomorrow.

Good Days are Here Again

I am happy to report that I am doing well and expect the rest of the week to be enjoyable. I still have to deal with tingly feet and fingers and a little fatigue but the rest of my lovely chemo companions have mostly departed. I went to the clinic yesterday for lab work and my levels are way up on their own so no bone-aching shots this time either.


I realize that a lot of my posts might have a negative slant so I thought I would remind myself of the good things that are abundant during this trial. My wife has been stellar in taking care of Sophie and me. She has been strong even through physical difficulties of her own. We've had a lot of support from friends and family as well. My daughter has been an angel (okay so she only takes one nap a day and is a very picky eater, often throwing her food on the floor) and I love her so much. She makes me so happy and does the cutest things like peekaboo with palms out and holding her hands behind her back at random times, mostly while walking.


I have learned what pain truly is. I will not go in to detail about the joyful, secondary effect of chemo that caused this pain but I can honestly say that I have never felt pain to that degree in my life up to this point. Of course I've never broken a bone or spent time in a hospital in my life. I hadn't had surgeries until now but this was even more painful than that. Thankfully it has subsided to discomfort but annoying. I have also learned to be more empathetic with my wife and the things that she has had to deal with in her life. As expected I have learned and grown from this trial and continue to do so. Also as expected, we have also been tremendously blessed.

How quickly I forget

The doctors have really done well figuring out how to get us cancer patients to take all of our medicine. I usually feel pretty good by the time each chemo treatment comes around so I go to the clinic willingly to get it done with. Then it doesn't take long before the joys of chemo return. The last couple of days have been as expected - tired, nauseous, and no appetite. I get up in the morning and food doesn't even sound good. I try to eat and drink a bit here and there and usually by dinner time I am hungry enough that I will eat a fair amount whether it tastes good or not. Last night - it didn't taste good. Tonight it was pretty good. And that is not necessarily a reflection on the menu or the cook. We have appreciated having meals brought in the last two days so Tara can tend to Sophie while I get some rest. This usually means getting her out of the house. It helps her to not have to worry about cooking, especially since there is no guarantee that I will eat much of it anyway.

I hope that another day or two should be long enough to get back to a happy place. I need to if I am going to agree to two more chemo sessions. The back of my tongue is starting to turn white again so I am expecting a bad taste in my mouth for a few days. We'll see if I need to pull out the magic mouthwash again. This post probably seems similar to this same time two weeks ago so I apologize for that. I'm in a bit of a rut, however we are nearing the end of the chemo portion.

My breathing test went okay yesterday. I didn't have to do as many routines as the first time but they did close the airtight booth and ask me to pant again. I suppose I'll find out the results on Tuesday with my next blood test. Sadly, if they stop the "B" drug it only saves me 30 minutes during each of the two more chemo sessions. It isn't the drug that causes numbness which would have been nice to get rid of. I think my lungs are doing well though and I will be happy about that.

6 Down and 2 to go

Well, I am not really done with the sixth treatment yet. The infusion went well yesterday and as usual made me very sleepy. And as usual later that night it made it difficult for me to sleep. I am expecting the nauseousness to kick in tomorrow but by the end of the week I will be done with round 6.

Tomorrow I go in for another Pulmonary Function Test. One of the chemo drugs is toxic to the lungs. Nothing has shown up on the chest x-rays but the doctor wants this test done just in case we need to stop that particular drug.

My laptop went on the fritz last Saturday so sorry I am not posting as frequently. The school should have it fixed soon I hope. Other than that things are going well. I just try to take advantage of the good days I have - which makes for all play and no work. Better change that soon.